I feel torn

I feel torn. stuck between two beliefs. One that I have grown up with, loved, cherished, that has come to my aid and pushed me to give service to others. It was drastically brought to my attention last night as I watched the live broadcast of "8" that my other belief will most likely always make me stand out within the community of my faith. I stand out correcting people's use of the phrase "That's so gay" and out right telling a guest in my house last night that phrases like "He's such a homo" would never be tolerated. I fully and strongly believe that this kind of behavior should be corrected despite my own heterosexuality or anyone else's sexual orientation.

I have been fortunate enough to have friends who are completely respectful of my views and are willing to help me understand their thoughts of disagreement in very insightful conversations which, in most cases, led me to feel closer and more bonded to these friends. I have also had friends scold me saying i have no right to chastise others when they use phrases I mentioned above. That is where my cognitive tearing kicks in. ALL my life I have been told to stand up for good, being praised when i ask others not to swear around me or take the lord's name in vain. But when it comes to this subject I am seen as being tolerant or not accepting of counsel that has been given.

When proposition 8 was in full swing, I sat quietly while members of the community and friends asked for volunteers in the call centers that contacted California citizens. I fear the time will come when my opinion of same sex marriage will complete the tear I have begun to feel.

I have no solution. just to love both sides of my beliefs and understand this perspective is what makes me who I am, struggles, ripped opinions, pro equal rights and all. :)

My Oscars Review

My feelings toward this years Academy Awards were a little different. Of course I was as excited as ever, but my excitement mostly stemmed from the announcement that the one true Oscar host was to be, once again, BILLY CHRYSTAL. I was tickled pink to see the reinstating of billy inserted into all the best picture parody scenes and soo happy to see George Clooney play along. I don't care if Billy's one liners all bombed. I think he needs to host until he dies. He brings humor and class to the event. Best of all, i felt the presenters were fairly tame, not trying to out do each other and not slit-your-wrists annoying!

 For one of the first times since the academy has decided to choose more than 5 nominated films for best picture, I had seen all of them but War Horse. I don't care how nominated that movie was, it looked DUMB! And unless someone tells me that the horse in fact does a performance like unto Circe De Sole at the Oscars, I will still not be seeing it. 

To be honest I was not blown away, out of my socks by any of these films. While everyone I feel did work upstanding to their current reputation, I was not WOWed. And that is what I feel should be the distinguishing factor for films honored to be recognized. But in the midst  of our traditional Oscar Prep Weekend I was some what disappointed. I only came to recognize a certain few until after 2 weeks of critical simmer for certain moments or characteristics.   

The Tree of Life. Dear Terrence Malick, I love you. The New World is one of my favorite movies. Unfortunately, no one else agrees. I can't count how many people I've recommended it to. I feel his style is clear. He has a unique ability to tap into a very naturalistic and earth movement in how he directs his cinematography and sound. I was not expecting The Tree of Life to be as abstract as it was. During the first 15 minutes I had to continually repeat to myself, "Number one rule of abstract: Don't look for a story line. Forget your linear thinking and reason and just observe." 

        This is the reason I picked Tree of Life as a stand out for Best Picture. It does something different and does it well! 

BUT AS WE ALL KNOW, no votes for you, Tree of Life! I should probably preface this next shout out by saying I am not the biggest fan of the over eccentric smiles and frowns style of acting that we so often admire in old movies (ahem...Audrey Hepburn)...which is much like The Artist is shot. I was entertained and surprised how intrigued by the story as I was...bla...bla...bla. But then (Alice mouths words) Black screen with white words: WUH BAM! The moment I saw that this film was a CLEAR choice for Best picture.  The main character wakes up to sound filled world. Chairs moving. Dogs barking. Clocks ticking. And then everyone realizes what a foli artist does! This showed a creative team not willing to "play it safe" in a silent world, but taking the artistic choices. Choices that made a stark and brilliant way to catch our attention to what we had been missing. It seemed so forward in a Brechtian sort of way, pulling us out of the glam into a feeling of insignificance. It propeled a story on a deeper level, inciting a subconscious connection to a character who's perfect world was silently careening out of control. 

It is time! Jaw surgery Before, During, and Afters

Here is a video containing all progress from beginning to end. A double jaw surgery, upper and lower for open and lower bite.

Progress at the beginning is daily and then after a week moves to twice or once a week and the last picture was taken on Saturday. My surgery was on Dec. 21st 2011.

As a side note I am wearing makeup in most of these pictures, nor am I trying to look pretty. I am only miserable in the first seven or so (as you can see my lips swelled to the side a balloons) but the rest are non smiley so to be consistent. 

Enjoy!

The time has almost come

I am almost 5 weeks post op from Jaw surgery and at 6 weeks i'll post the good the bad and the swelling. Most of the swelling is gone, I still have pain in my jaw joint.

I am Sooo excited to eat. I'm an eater for sure. So unfortunately i've only lost 10lbs and now that i can put solid food in my mouth (and swallow it whole) I'm starting to gain it back. eff. I was so excited to be really skinny. Haha I can fit into a smaller dress size but I would have needed to continue the weight loss to officially state that. So that's kind of a bummer, but mostly I'm excited to eat. I've narrowed down my celebratory meal to either be a Bonzai burger from Red Robin or all you can eat sushi. We shall see!

Toddlers and Tiaras for Halloween!

By far one of my most favorite Halloween Costumes to execute. How hilarious is this? AND you get to be pretty. Pretty and funny at the same time. I'll take it!

Dress from Deseret Industries for $6, Underskirt and Socks from Pibs Exchange, Homemade Sash, Tiara and Binki from Dollar store...and WAM! I'm a Sexy Baby