Blogging randoms

I am back in Provo...good ole p-town. Ya know people from price make fun of me cause I love provo and BYU. Then i see the same people from High School....looking the same as they did in high school and acting the same way. So I watched Sweet Home Alambama. I felt like her. Everytime I go to price i feel like i need to grab people and say get out of here! Then I see how stuck up Reese was in that movie. I don't want to be like that. And what do I have in comparison to Reese? She had a clothing line, was on the cover of W magazine and living in New York. All I can say is that my education is from a university....my major is acting. Good grief. My friends came to visit me in Price and we were going to do a double date but i could not honestly think of someone in Price that was my age and not married. I still feel really really blessed that i am attending BYU. Price is just not my cup of tea. I can't stand going there. Maybe it's for other, deeper reasons.

Really I just couldn't wait to come back to provo. It seems now that the only reasons i couldn't wait to come back are no longer a primary part of my life. The other night i had a dream about how much i missed Sarah and I couldn't stop crying in the dream. This isn't an exaggeration. I am having a hard time coming home an not having them there. They really were the closest friends and i consider them family that i have. I will wager that Sarah knows me better than anyone save for the big man upstairs.

This is the most depressing blog i have ever written. yikes. Feels good though. Sarah and Enge were safe. They were always there. Now i am dealing with all these other inconstants flying at me like i am in the middle of a tornado. I am not really good in dealing with the unknown. I hate feeling powerless. And now it's as if i need to trust completely in the wheather man that's telling me that the only debris that will hit me are foam blocks and soon the house will stop spinning. Maybe I'll wake up in Oz. Then again I don't want to land on a witch.