Sunday, March 4, 2012

I feel torn

I feel torn. stuck between two beliefs. One that I have grown up with, loved, cherished, that has come to my aid and pushed me to give service to others. It was drastically brought to my attention last night as I watched the live broadcast of "8" that my other belief will most likely always make me stand out within the community of my faith. I stand out correcting people's use of the phrase "That's so gay" and out right telling a guest in my house last night that phrases like "He's such a homo" would never be tolerated. I fully and strongly believe that this kind of behavior should be corrected despite my own heterosexuality or anyone else's sexual orientation.

I have been fortunate enough to have friends who are completely respectful of my views and are willing to help me understand their thoughts of disagreement in very insightful conversations which, in most cases, led me to feel closer and more bonded to these friends. I have also had friends scold me saying i have no right to chastise others when they use phrases I mentioned above. That is where my cognitive tearing kicks in. ALL my life I have been told to stand up for good, being praised when i ask others not to swear around me or take the lord's name in vain. But when it comes to this subject I am seen as being tolerant or not accepting of counsel that has been given.

When proposition 8 was in full swing, I sat quietly while members of the community and friends asked for volunteers in the call centers that contacted California citizens. I fear the time will come when my opinion of same sex marriage will complete the tear I have begun to feel.

I have no solution. just to love both sides of my beliefs and understand this perspective is what makes me who I am, struggles, ripped opinions, pro equal rights and all. :)