The End!

This last July I finally completed more than a year of surgeries, braces and blagh! here's a quick timeline (and just to be clear all this was done for medically necessary reasons!)


April 2011 - Learned I needed jaw surgery to have a healthy and proper bite and nasal surgery to prep myself to actually be able to breathe.

June 2011- Braces

September 2011 -  Nasal Surgery...that didn't work

December 2011 - Double Jaw surgery...bam

Feb 2012 - Back to chewing food

May 2012 - Second Nasal surgery

July 2012 - Tada!

Now for the sake of people who LOVE before and afters...as I totally do. I thought they helped me most to mentally prepare for two major surgeries that would change the look of my face.

Here is a head shot before and after. Now remember, these were my best shots. The best pictures I had of me.

And Some Afters

Here are some before Non-Smiling ones: Here is where I see the biggest difference

And After

Crazy, right? Now that I sit here and look at it it's amazing how much more proportionate my face looks. before the surgery I hated my nose and now after jaw surgery and an actual straight nose that is breathable I am soooo glad I did this. Not only does it look good but it is functional!. I can finally chew food normal and my bite is healthy and perfect. 

Orthodontist - Brian Graff Orem, Utah. Graff Orthodontics

ENT - Seth Riddle - Provo, Utah - Peak ENT

Orthonagtic surgeon - Alvin Stosich - Midvale -  Utah Center for Oral and Facial Surgery

Missing a friend

Drewsky gave me my first impression of redneck living when he described, in detail, how to castrate livestock. Probably the first person with a southern drawl I had ever met. The first time my roommates and I had our first of many to come hilarious moments with drew, He had just got in from playing volleyball and we ran into him in the Morris Center. He and I soon pointed out how noticeably short his shorts were. From then on he, a midst the other Drews in the ward, was, affectionately, Drew-short-shorts-Drew.

Drew never failed to show us all how to suck-it-up and be a man. It didn't matter if that related to Syrup on Spaghetti in the cafeteria with Chris, ironing board bobsleds, hidden hobo houses up provo canyon or even dating, you could be a man about anything.
One night during visiting hours Drew proved this by telling me a story about a date he had been on earlier that week. He was unsure of this girl but still ended up holding her had by the end of the date. "What?!" I asked, "Why did you do that?" Drew responded very innocently with, "It was an accident!" Rolling my eyes to his typical boy behavior I told him, "Drew, you don't just accidentally hold someone's hand." Trying to coax the truth out of him he finally said, "I wasn't trying to hold her hand...I was... reaching for more blanket. Her hand just kind of was there." "Are you kidding?!" I replied, "If you for sure DIDN'T want to lead her on why would you even risk sharing a blanket, let alone reaching for more?!" In a very matter of fact way drew just said, "I was cold."

The Drewsky we knew and loved never was discouraged and knew that nothing ever was a big deal enough to cry about it. I know his example touched everyone who knew him and even through his illness he continued to show me how to be a man. Love you, Drew. We miss you already.

If I were a swearing woman

Grey's Anatomy. Sigh. It started in 2005 and then I watched 7 seasons in 3 weeks on laying in bed squirting liquid christmas dinner through my clenched teeth. Needless to say, I'm attached.

That's why I am FED UP! (Expletive) FED UP!!! (Expletive) pissed off. Not only has Shonda Rhimes single handedly  raised my blood pressure but she has manipulated me into fetal position cry sessions. I have forgiven and forgiven time and time again for her rash actions. Her writing is constantly the equivalent of offering a child a small cookie. Then, as a delightful surprise, Shonda lets the small child taste the cookie. Of course I-I mean- this said small and non adult child instantly grows attached to the warm, gooey and often pee-your-pants-hilarious center. She is drawn, addicted. This child swears that this cookie has now become a dear close friend. Suddenly, Shonda not only (expletive that rhymes with "itch") slaps the cookie out MY HAND AND MOUTH but then proceeds to tell me that the awesome funny Lexie is DEAD and there will be no more cookies EVER! (Expletive) YOU, COOKIE KILLER!

I have no idea why she feels the need to kill everyone and make everyone of these fictional character's lives a HELL HOLE but I have a feeling that she was the one in high school making a HUGE deal about everything... and still is. And I take personal offense to that.

I love you grey's anatomy, but I really don't have to like you right now. (Expletive).

A really good day

I just had the best day. I woke up feeling good and happy. My favorite radio station the morning zoo 97.1zht definitely always brightens the morning cause they are so hilArious. I was driving to work snacking of some banana bread I made the night before and my daily green smoothie. I had recently wanted to try to be all domestic after a book I had been reading about a woman in the 1800s pioneering, baking, raising children all that jazz. Dang straight! Practically laura fricking ingles. Okay so i purchased all items from a store but let's laura navigate her way through smiths in provo! Especially as a single girl. In the baking isle. It is no small feat, my friend. But it turned out so good! Anyways I had stayed up last night packaging Oreos in bags with notes that said "You're a star" for all my drama kids. Tht's right I said oreos. My domesticity only goes so far. I handed one to a shy little boy from my class that sadly missed our final performance. And said "We missed you! Here, this is for you!" and without hesitation he looked at me and said, "you're a really good teacher." I haven't ever really heard this boy say more that a sentence with 3 words in it. I just looked back and said "you're an awesome student!" so awesome.

Then as a lunch lady I have been so excited to serve sloppy joes so I could be Chris farly and sing the song! Well today was that day and all my fellow lunch ladies were feeling fine and sassy and served as my back up dancers and percussion. we had a jolly time quoting movies, talking I accents and passing the time during lunch while slapping a that juicy ground love on a bun.

Then math. Anyone who knows me knows I heatedly dislike math. Cept' 5th grade math. I rock 5th grade math. This math I can teach with confidence... Well all except the 9 times tables. But still, I'll take it. The kids and I race. I win everytime which is awesome (except the 9 times but im working on it 9x8=72) but they have fun t the back table with me. This is Especially apparent when one kid pissing me off and back talking just to get a rise while disrupting others after repeated empty threats-I mean warnings of being sent to the or more work or turn him in to the real teacher (I'm just he aide) I just responded with "*Tommy (*name changed), talk back one more time. I dare you and we'll see what happens." and another kid says to *Tommy, stop. Ms. Johnson is a nice teachee. She doesn't like being mean so just do your work.

Hot dang. Then more hours of awesome little thespians coming in with smiles as I stand at the door and act Like a dork and say "Welllcommme to class, we're happy to have you" in a British accent. They are practicing musical theater while I specifically work with them to show more facial expressions. luckily for my amusement the littlest group is adorable and also is doing bare necessities so they get to do really hilarious faces. Oh amazing.

Then wedding dress shopping with my wonderful roommate and a cranberry limeaid to top it off. Ending the night with an amazingly intense season finale of vampire diaries. I watched with my friend Ashley and our every thought was so in sync (BYE BYE BYE!). We would both scream WHAT?! Oooo following the same intonations and concluded with a grand finale of jumping up and down on my bed shouting OoOoooOOOHhh Mmuuhhhhyyyyyu GHGGoooooOoShshhHhhh!

Fun packed and awesome day. Simple but grand.

Progress Indeed.

http://trevorantley.com/2012/04/05/byus-gay-mormon-panel-a-huge-success/

I feel torn

I feel torn. stuck between two beliefs. One that I have grown up with, loved, cherished, that has come to my aid and pushed me to give service to others. It was drastically brought to my attention last night as I watched the live broadcast of "8" that my other belief will most likely always make me stand out within the community of my faith. I stand out correcting people's use of the phrase "That's so gay" and out right telling a guest in my house last night that phrases like "He's such a homo" would never be tolerated. I fully and strongly believe that this kind of behavior should be corrected despite my own heterosexuality or anyone else's sexual orientation.

I have been fortunate enough to have friends who are completely respectful of my views and are willing to help me understand their thoughts of disagreement in very insightful conversations which, in most cases, led me to feel closer and more bonded to these friends. I have also had friends scold me saying i have no right to chastise others when they use phrases I mentioned above. That is where my cognitive tearing kicks in. ALL my life I have been told to stand up for good, being praised when i ask others not to swear around me or take the lord's name in vain. But when it comes to this subject I am seen as being tolerant or not accepting of counsel that has been given.

When proposition 8 was in full swing, I sat quietly while members of the community and friends asked for volunteers in the call centers that contacted California citizens. I fear the time will come when my opinion of same sex marriage will complete the tear I have begun to feel.

I have no solution. just to love both sides of my beliefs and understand this perspective is what makes me who I am, struggles, ripped opinions, pro equal rights and all. :)

My Oscars Review

My feelings toward this years Academy Awards were a little different. Of course I was as excited as ever, but my excitement mostly stemmed from the announcement that the one true Oscar host was to be, once again, BILLY CHRYSTAL. I was tickled pink to see the reinstating of billy inserted into all the best picture parody scenes and soo happy to see George Clooney play along. I don't care if Billy's one liners all bombed. I think he needs to host until he dies. He brings humor and class to the event. Best of all, i felt the presenters were fairly tame, not trying to out do each other and not slit-your-wrists annoying!

 For one of the first times since the academy has decided to choose more than 5 nominated films for best picture, I had seen all of them but War Horse. I don't care how nominated that movie was, it looked DUMB! And unless someone tells me that the horse in fact does a performance like unto Circe De Sole at the Oscars, I will still not be seeing it. 

To be honest I was not blown away, out of my socks by any of these films. While everyone I feel did work upstanding to their current reputation, I was not WOWed. And that is what I feel should be the distinguishing factor for films honored to be recognized. But in the midst  of our traditional Oscar Prep Weekend I was some what disappointed. I only came to recognize a certain few until after 2 weeks of critical simmer for certain moments or characteristics.   

The Tree of Life. Dear Terrence Malick, I love you. The New World is one of my favorite movies. Unfortunately, no one else agrees. I can't count how many people I've recommended it to. I feel his style is clear. He has a unique ability to tap into a very naturalistic and earth movement in how he directs his cinematography and sound. I was not expecting The Tree of Life to be as abstract as it was. During the first 15 minutes I had to continually repeat to myself, "Number one rule of abstract: Don't look for a story line. Forget your linear thinking and reason and just observe." 

        This is the reason I picked Tree of Life as a stand out for Best Picture. It does something different and does it well! 

BUT AS WE ALL KNOW, no votes for you, Tree of Life! I should probably preface this next shout out by saying I am not the biggest fan of the over eccentric smiles and frowns style of acting that we so often admire in old movies (ahem...Audrey Hepburn)...which is much like The Artist is shot. I was entertained and surprised how intrigued by the story as I was...bla...bla...bla. But then (Alice mouths words) Black screen with white words: WUH BAM! The moment I saw that this film was a CLEAR choice for Best picture.  The main character wakes up to sound filled world. Chairs moving. Dogs barking. Clocks ticking. And then everyone realizes what a foli artist does! This showed a creative team not willing to "play it safe" in a silent world, but taking the artistic choices. Choices that made a stark and brilliant way to catch our attention to what we had been missing. It seemed so forward in a Brechtian sort of way, pulling us out of the glam into a feeling of insignificance. It propeled a story on a deeper level, inciting a subconscious connection to a character who's perfect world was silently careening out of control. 

It is time! Jaw surgery Before, During, and Afters

Here is a video containing all progress from beginning to end. A double jaw surgery, upper and lower for open and lower bite.

Progress at the beginning is daily and then after a week moves to twice or once a week and the last picture was taken on Saturday. My surgery was on Dec. 21st 2011.

As a side note I am wearing makeup in most of these pictures, nor am I trying to look pretty. I am only miserable in the first seven or so (as you can see my lips swelled to the side a balloons) but the rest are non smiley so to be consistent. 

Enjoy!

The time has almost come

I am almost 5 weeks post op from Jaw surgery and at 6 weeks i'll post the good the bad and the swelling. Most of the swelling is gone, I still have pain in my jaw joint.

I am Sooo excited to eat. I'm an eater for sure. So unfortunately i've only lost 10lbs and now that i can put solid food in my mouth (and swallow it whole) I'm starting to gain it back. eff. I was so excited to be really skinny. Haha I can fit into a smaller dress size but I would have needed to continue the weight loss to officially state that. So that's kind of a bummer, but mostly I'm excited to eat. I've narrowed down my celebratory meal to either be a Bonzai burger from Red Robin or all you can eat sushi. We shall see!