Thursday, August 16, 2012

The End!

This last July I finally completed more than a year of surgeries, braces and blagh! here's a quick timeline (and just to be clear all this was done for medically necessary reasons!)

April 2011 - Learned I needed jaw surgery to have a healthy and proper bite and nasal surgery to prep myself to actually be able to breathe.

June 2011- Braces

September 2011 -  Nasal Surgery...that didn't work

December 2011 - Double Jaw surgery...bam

Feb 2012 - Back to chewing food

May 2012 - Second Nasal surgery

July 2012 - Tada!

Now for the sake of people who LOVE before and I totally do. I thought they helped me most to mentally prepare for two major surgeries that would change the look of my face.

Here is a head shot before and after. Now remember, these were my best shots. The best pictures I had of me.

And Some Afters

Here are some before Non-Smiling ones: Here is where I see the biggest difference

And After

Crazy, right? Now that I sit here and look at it it's amazing how much more proportionate my face looks. before the surgery I hated my nose and now after jaw surgery and an actual straight nose that is breathable I am soooo glad I did this. Not only does it look good but it is functional!. I can finally chew food normal and my bite is healthy and perfect. 

Orthodontist - Brian Graff Orem, Utah. Graff Orthodontics
ENT - Seth Riddle - Provo, Utah - Peak ENT
Orthonagtic surgeon - Alvin Stosich - Midvale -  Utah Center for Oral and Facial Surgery

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Missing a friend

Drewsky gave me my first impression of redneck living when he described, in detail, how to castrate livestock. Probably the first person with a southern drawl I had ever met. The first time my roommates and I had our first of many to come hilarious moments with drew, He had just got in from playing volleyball and we ran into him in the Morris Center. He and I soon pointed out how noticeably short his shorts were. From then on he, a midst the other Drews in the ward, was, affectionately, Drew-short-shorts-Drew.

Drew never failed to show us all how to suck-it-up and be a man. It didn't matter if that related to Syrup on Spaghetti in the cafeteria with Chris, ironing board bobsleds, hidden hobo houses up provo canyon or even dating, you could be a man about anything.
One night during visiting hours Drew proved this by telling me a story about a date he had been on earlier that week. He was unsure of this girl but still ended up holding her had by the end of the date. "What?!" I asked, "Why did you do that?" Drew responded very innocently with, "It was an accident!" Rolling my eyes to his typical boy behavior I told him, "Drew, you don't just accidentally hold someone's hand." Trying to coax the truth out of him he finally said, "I wasn't trying to hold her hand...I was... reaching for more blanket. Her hand just kind of was there." "Are you kidding?!" I replied, "If you for sure DIDN'T want to lead her on why would you even risk sharing a blanket, let alone reaching for more?!" In a very matter of fact way drew just said, "I was cold."

The Drewsky we knew and loved never was discouraged and knew that nothing ever was a big deal enough to cry about it. I know his example touched everyone who knew him and even through his illness he continued to show me how to be a man. Love you, Drew. We miss you already.

Friday, May 18, 2012

If I were a swearing woman

Grey's Anatomy. Sigh. It started in 2005 and then I watched 7 seasons in 3 weeks on laying in bed squirting liquid christmas dinner through my clenched teeth. Needless to say, I'm attached.

That's why I am FED UP! (Expletive) FED UP!!! (Expletive) pissed off. Not only has Shonda Rhimes single handedly  raised my blood pressure but she has manipulated me into fetal position cry sessions. I have forgiven and forgiven time and time again for her rash actions. Her writing is constantly the equivalent of offering a child a small cookie. Then, as a delightful surprise, Shonda lets the small child taste the cookie. Of course I-I mean- this said small and non adult child instantly grows attached to the warm, gooey and often pee-your-pants-hilarious center. She is drawn, addicted. This child swears that this cookie has now become a dear close friend. Suddenly, Shonda not only (expletive that rhymes with "itch") slaps the cookie out MY HAND AND MOUTH but then proceeds to tell me that the awesome funny Lexie is DEAD and there will be no more cookies EVER! (Expletive) YOU, COOKIE KILLER!

I have no idea why she feels the need to kill everyone and make everyone of these fictional character's lives a HELL HOLE but I have a feeling that she was the one in high school making a HUGE deal about everything... and still is. And I take personal offense to that.

I love you grey's anatomy, but I really don't have to like you right now. (Expletive).

Thursday, May 10, 2012

A really good day

I just had the best day. I woke up feeling good and happy. My favorite radio station the morning zoo 97.1zht definitely always brightens the morning cause they are so hilArious. I was driving to work snacking of some banana bread I made the night before and my daily green smoothie. I had recently wanted to try to be all domestic after a book I had been reading about a woman in the 1800s pioneering, baking, raising children all that jazz. Dang straight! Practically laura fricking ingles. Okay so i purchased all items from a store but let's laura navigate her way through smiths in provo! Especially as a single girl. In the baking isle. It is no small feat, my friend. But it turned out so good! Anyways I had stayed up last night packaging Oreos in bags with notes that said "You're a star" for all my drama kids. Tht's right I said oreos. My domesticity only goes so far. I handed one to a shy little boy from my class that sadly missed our final performance. And said "We missed you! Here, this is for you!" and without hesitation he looked at me and said, "you're a really good teacher." I haven't ever really heard this boy say more that a sentence with 3 words in it. I just looked back and said "you're an awesome student!" so awesome.

Then as a lunch lady I have been so excited to serve sloppy joes so I could be Chris farly and sing the song! Well today was that day and all my fellow lunch ladies were feeling fine and sassy and served as my back up dancers and percussion. we had a jolly time quoting movies, talking I accents and passing the time during lunch while slapping a that juicy ground love on a bun.

Then math. Anyone who knows me knows I heatedly dislike math. Cept' 5th grade math. I rock 5th grade math. This math I can teach with confidence... Well all except the 9 times tables. But still, I'll take it. The kids and I race. I win everytime which is awesome (except the 9 times but im working on it 9x8=72) but they have fun t the back table with me. This is Especially apparent when one kid pissing me off and back talking just to get a rise while disrupting others after repeated empty threats-I mean warnings of being sent to the or more work or turn him in to the real teacher (I'm just he aide) I just responded with "*Tommy (*name changed), talk back one more time. I dare you and we'll see what happens." and another kid says to *Tommy, stop. Ms. Johnson is a nice teachee. She doesn't like being mean so just do your work.

Hot dang. Then more hours of awesome little thespians coming in with smiles as I stand at the door and act Like a dork and say "Welllcommme to class, we're happy to have you" in a British accent. They are practicing musical theater while I specifically work with them to show more facial expressions. luckily for my amusement the littlest group is adorable and also is doing bare necessities so they get to do really hilarious faces. Oh amazing.

Then wedding dress shopping with my wonderful roommate and a cranberry limeaid to top it off. Ending the night with an amazingly intense season finale of vampire diaries. I watched with my friend Ashley and our every thought was so in sync (BYE BYE BYE!). We would both scream WHAT?! Oooo following the same intonations and concluded with a grand finale of jumping up and down on my bed shouting OoOoooOOOHhh Mmuuhhhhyyyyyu GHGGoooooOoShshhHhhh!

Fun packed and awesome day. Simple but grand.